Geeky Joke of the Day: Programmer One Liners

IT Worker Using Computer in Server Room
  • ‘Hello World!’ 17 errors, 31 warnings
  • It compiled? The first screen came up? Ship it! (Bill Gates)
  • 1024x768x256 Sounds like one mean woman
  • 2B OR NOT 2B = FF
  • A bad day: ‘Transfer completed (5720468 bytes, 1 CPS)’
  • Apathy Error: Don’t bother striking any key.
  • Bad or Missing Sysop. Free files in all areas.
  • Best 3D game? DOOK. I mean DUME.
  • C:\PROGRAMS\FAULTY\TRASH\SICKJOKE\WINDOWS>
  • Canadian DOS: ‘Yer sure, eh? [Y,n]’
  • CAUTION! Do not look into laser with remaining eye.
  • Coming soon: Doom III – What The Hell?
  • Daddy, what does FORMATTING DRIVE C: COMPLETE mean?
  • DEVICE=LIFE LOCKED@AGE25 HEALTH=PERFECT
  • Earth is shutting down in five minutes – please save all files and log out
  • Error 109: Error 108
  • ERROR! Windows found! Formatting Drive C:!
  • Ever noticed how fast Windows run? Me neither
  • Evolution is God’s way of issuing upgrades
  • File not found. Nobody leave the room!
  • Have a nice day – unless you’ve made other plans
  • Honey, I Formatted The Kid!
  • I t#ld yo#, ‘Never#touch #he flop#y disk s#rface!’
  • I wish life had a scroll-back buffer
  • Insert disk 5 of 4 and press any key to continue
  • Insert Mouse into drive A: and press any key
  • JESUS SAVES; the rest of us better make backups.
  • Life’s too short to use a slow modem
  • LSD: The ULTIMATE in Virtual Reality
  • Error: Floppy not responding. Format drive C: instead [Y/N]?
  • MafiaDOS: ‘Thisa you lasta chance [Y/N]’?
  • Moderator not found. Begin flame war [Y,n]?
  • MOUSE.DRV not found, use RAT.DRV instead?
  • On a hacker’s tombstone: CONNECT 1964 – NO CARRIER 1994
  • Only XT users know that January 1, 1980 was a Tuesday.
  • Out of paper on drive D:
  • Press ESC to enter or Enter to escape
  • Real_men_don’t_need_spacebars.
  • REALITY.SYS corrupted. Reboot UNIVERSE [Y,n] ?
  • Southern DOS: Y’all Reckon? (Yep/Nope)
  • The Earth is 98% full. Please delete anyone you can.
  • The Ultimate Virus: A self installing copy of ‘Win95’.
  • The world is coming to an end-please log off.
  • There is a bomb on the premises. Please PANIC immediately.
  • This copy of planet Earth has been unregistered for 4 billion years
  • Track 0 bad?? Don’t worry, there’s lots of others
  • Troubleshooting Shortcut #1: Shoot the trouble!
  • Unknown Error on Unknown Device for Unexplainable Reason
  • User Failure: Please Insert a Bootable Brain.
  • Welcome to Hell! Here’s your copy of WINDOWS
  • Will Write Login Scripts For Food
  • Windows 6345634.45a: please insert disk 95 of 5645
  • Windows 8783837773.2c! We finally got it right. (Bill Gates)
  • Windows: the $89 solution to your excess speed problem
  • WindowsError:010 Reserved for future mistakes
  • WindowsError:042 This virus requires Microsoft Windows.
  • Your brain doesn’t have enough memory, please make a boot disk
  • Machines should work. People should think.
IT Worker Using Computer in Server Room

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