Improve your vocabulary

My mate, David sent me a bunch of new words which should really be in everyone’s dictionary:

  • TESTICULATING: Waving your arms around and talking Bollocks.
  • BLAMESTORMING: Sitting around in a group, discussing why a deadline was missed
    or a project failed, and who was responsible.
  • SEAGULL MANAGER: A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps on everything,
    and then leaves.
  • ASSMOSIS: The process by which people seem to absorb success and advancement
    by sucking up to the boss rather than working hard.
  • SALMON DAY: The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only
    to get screwed and die.
  • CUBE FARM: An office filled with cubicles.
  • PRAIRIE DOGGING: When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube farm,
    and people’s heads pop up over the walls to see that’s going on. (This also applies
    to applause from a promotion because there may be cake.)
  • MOUSE POTATO: The on-line, wired generation’s answer to the couch potato.
  • SITCOMs: Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage. What yuppies turn
    into when they have children and one of them stops working to stay home with the kids
    or start a “home business”.
  • STRESS PUPPY: A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out and whiny.
  • XEROX SUBSIDY: Euphemism for swiping free photocopies from one’s workplace.
  • PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE: The fine art of whacking the crap out of an electronic
    device to get it to work again.
  • ADMINISPHERE: The rarefied organisational layers beginning just above the rank
    and file. Decisions that fall from the “adminisphere” are often profoundly inappropriate
    or irrelevant to the problems they were designed to solve. This is often affiliated
    with the dreaded “administrivia” needless paperwork and processes.
  • 404: Someone who’s clueless. From the World Wide Web error message “404 Not
    Found,” meaning that the requested document could not be located.
  • OHNOSECOND: That minuscule fraction of time in which you realise that you’ve
    just made a BIG mistake (e.g. you’ve hit ‘reply all’)
  • WOOFies: Well Off Older Folk.
  • CROP DUSTING: Surreptitiously farting while passing through a cube farm, and
    then enjoying the sounds of dismay and disgust; leads to PRAIRIE DOGGING.

Time to learn them all

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